If you coach poorly, people have an almost allergic reaction to it. It probably feels like suddenly being with a life-coach/shrink without having signed up for it.
If you do it well though, it doesn’t look like “coaching”, and you just make change happen.
So how do you think carefully about delivering a message that makes change, without seeming like you’re totally off your rocker for trying to play games with someone?
- Transparency: Sometimes, the right tactic is to be up front about the intention behind a message.
- Prep: Don’t wing it when it’s important. Phrasing, tone, and the specific words chosen all affect the way communication is received. Sometimes 80% is fine, but know when it’s going to take 95% accuracy and plan accordingly.
- Relation: The stronger the relation to the person you aim to change, the more inclined they’ll be to make an effort when it comes to decoding the message and figuring out what to do about it. This has to be built long before and completely detached from any current coaching goals.
- Taking sides: Get firmly on the side of the person you’re talking to. Make that clear to them, and keep it clear to yourself.
- Normalise: Make it part of who you are, and make it known. It’s always going to come off less weird if it’s expected.
A non-exhaustive little reflection on how to approach coaching and messaging like a decent human being.