This is one of those reads you know you’ll want to come back to.
Ryan’s frank prologue describing his own situation, and how it prompted him to write the book, is a bold statement. It seems to say; here I am, imperfect, hurt, and growing, and here is my best attempt to share what I’ve learned. The book opens with a quote:
Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find these words
Rainer Maria Rilke
Ryan then follows with a perfect analogue from his own life, establishing him as that troubled individual who seeks to comfort the reader now.
The book is split into 3 sections
- Aspire – musings on how to balance ego with aspiration.
- Success – musings on how to avoid falling into the ego trap when you are doing well
- Failure – musings on how to make the most of failures
Note that all three sections are essentially musings – Ryans writing is a form of guided meditation on some tough problems, without many prescriptive hands-on solutions. However, there is plenty of direction on where to search your soul, should you recognise any of the destructive patterns described in the book, mirrored in your own life.
This is what makes me sure I’ll want to revisit the content at a later date – it’s a short read, and a great reminder to stay humble and curious in everything I endeavour to achieve.
Two parts I have actively embraced into my life are two suggestions.
- Face the void (in the context of a hard problem with no easy answer)
This, to me, was a much needed push in the right direction for approaching my work. I often wait until I am out of easy tasks, before I tackle a tough problem – and this is true even when the tough problem is much more important. I have put a sticky note on my monitor at work, with the words “face the void” on it. It reminds me every day to do what is most important, even if the challenge is seemingly insurmountable. I must face the emptiness in my mind, the void, and stare into it.
- To be or to do?
To be good implies having a high opinion of myself. To do good requires that I hold myself to a high standard. The difference seems almost trivial, but to me, reframing this decision (to do good great things rather than be great) has helped me to address a growing problem with ego and lacking humility. Often we are taught to give critique in a way that focuses on the task (i.e. “your work on this task is not good enough” rather than “you are not good enough). This approach should apply to praise also, and especially self-appraisal. Do good. Be whatever.
The book is full of maxims and meditations on how to avoid the pitfalls of ego, and the 2 above are just the ones that resonated most during my first read-through. I feel they are powerful, and I am looking forward to working with them, until I am ready to read through a second time and take in more.